January 2013
8 posts
I’m getting distracted by my loneliness. I’m catching myself wondering if there’s gonna be someone for me. Someone that I want to let in deep enough to say I’m theirs. I can’t think about it too much. I get uncomfortable and persuade myself that I’m happier alone. But I know I’m using that as an excuse not to commit.
my future someone
On 1/24/13 I thought of you. I thought of what you could possibly be doing right at this moment. I wonder if I’m going to hear about this day from you one day. Maybe this is the day you got that really bad paper cut or you past your first exam of the semester. If you don’t remember this day, that’s okay. You have THIS DAY. The day I show you this to remember always.
I love...
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FL Studio
This software can be extremely overwhelming but I am unbelievably addicted to it. I watch youtube videos and get so anxious I try to do things myself but then realize I don’t know how to do everything and really need to get a grip on the basics first. I have to keep reminding myself that this is a process and it takes time to master. I am not going to learn everything in an hour.
But I...
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Hmm.. I Don't Recall
It’s amazing how quickly a human can forget things. I forget things all the time. I just walked outside to get my phone charger from my car and the moment I got there, I forgot why I went out in the first place. I had to rethink everything I just did to remember what the hell I was doing! Trying to think of something you forgot is such a weird feeling. You want to remember it so bad it...
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Life Lessons
I have paid for my classes and I’m getting back into the old grind. It feels pretty good knowing I’m able to continue my education. A weight had been lifted off my shoulders. My bank account wasn’t to happy with the transaction I must say. This past semester I have been working my ASS off trying to earn enough money for school. That was my only goal..but I learned a lot about...
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2013
I’m getting good vibes about this year. I know there are going to be challenges that I will have to face very soon but It’s something I’m looking forward to. I’m all about love and positivity. This year is for happiness. It’s for the journey and it always will be from here on out. EDM has shown me the life I want. My soul craves it and this is the year I could feed it. Building the dream head on....
December 2012
10 posts
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2012 In A Nutshell
I cannot begin to explain how incredibly diverse this year had been. I’ve gone through a number of situations that had made me happy, sad, furious, delighted,empty, enlightened, restless, at peace.. you name it I felt it. I’ve had quite a few life changing experiences. I’ve created countless memories. I’ve patched and re-patched wounds of the broken hearted. Yes, mine being...
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Always Around
Man I wish I could forget some things. Like, you know when you get really close to someone and you’re constantly talking and going through shit with. It’s a good feeling knowing you can turn to them at any given moment. You know they want to hear what you have to say and you don’t ever have to feel uncomfortable. You’re not alone. The moment they leave, you don’t know...
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Anonymous asked: what makes you want to produce so bad?
Coming Together
On my way to see fucking Porter Robinson and Cosmic Gate.
Getting FL Studio FULL (from the best friend) and Traktor Turntables for christmas.
Fuck this is absolutely amazing. Happiest chick on the planet man.
Getting that dream on lockdown.
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Caught Red Handed
Have you ever caught yourself thinking about someone you really shouldn’t? Have you ever let your memories completely take over and wish you could relive those moments? Have you ever had the urge to say your last and final thoughts that you’ve rehearsed over and over in your head but know you don’t have the courage to do so?
I’m going to tell you this. Tell that person...
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San Francisco- The Mowgli’s
good vibes...
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Dad
You try, I know. You’ve tried to be the best dad you could but you didn’t try enough. When I try to have a deep conversation with you there’s always a business call that’s a little more important. It can never wait. When I needed advice there wasn’t any. I don’t care what freeway you’re driving on. I don’t care if a roof needs to be finished. I want...
Direction
Thank god for music. If I didn’t have my tunes who knows where I’d be. The only thing I’m passionate about is music. I’m not good at anything. I don’t think I could succeed at anything academically. So if producing music is the one thing I really know I can do and love, then fuck I’m gonna do it. Why try being interested in other shit when I know this is for me....
November 2012
19 posts
Change
We all go through it. It happens whether we expect it or not. There is nothing we can do about it. BUT the way we handle it is key. I moved from a 4 bedroom two story house to a 2 bedroom 1 story apartment. I watched my mom fall in love with another man. I could be stubborn, bitter, cold but I chose not to. I congratulated my mom and her fiance. I packed my room up and said my last goodbyes with a...
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Speed Bumps
Lately I’ve been bitchin about the move and where I’m gonna be in 6 months but, I just realized I forgot what was important. My dream. The constant change in my life shouldn’t affect my goal. I got caught up in situations that don’t even pertain to me. I tend to worry about problems that are bigger than what I can handle. Someone once told me that I’m constantly battling between my head and my...
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Stuck
You ever feel like every where you turn you slam right into a wall? You ever feel like you don’t get the respect you deserve yet you’re the one with all the responsibilities? I’m trying to focus on myself, and I’m getting everything thrown on me. I can’t say no. I can’t voice my opinion because I get the “you don’t know what you’re talking about.” Bullshit. I don’t need the extra weight. I’m...
Thanksgiving
A time for family. A time to give thanks. a time to appreciate one another.
I wish my family understood that.
First Step
Gonna blow 400 bucks on software. Serious about going after my dream. Not gonna pussy out and pretend I’m doing shit. Actions speak louder than words so I will take this step. I’m gonna do everything I can to make this work. It’s going to work.
I’m not settling for less.
Here's To A New Beginning
My room is slowly becoming just a room. It’s sad but, I like it. I’m going to a new place. There’s no baggage there. There’s no memory that I wish I didn’t have. It’s fresh. It’s clean. I can start over. I’m closing the door on this place. It’s time for another family to enjoy it.
It’s time for me.
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Get Yourself Goin
Fuck the “what if’s”. Fuck your insecurities. Fuck your doubts. Fuck your negativity. Fuck every person that says you cannot do it.
Do what makes you happy. Do it.
Progress
Shits coming together slowly but surely. The moment I get some software I will be rollin with my music career. My best friend is an amazing artist and is pretty bomb with photoshop so she will be making my EP/Album covers for me. It’s gonna be fucking kickass.
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Birthday
Another year older. I’ve never felt the change on a birthday. I never once said “wow, I feel older.” This year I do. There’s a feeling of, I’m never going to be this young again. There’s no going back. I feel mature. I feel like an adult. My lifestyle is of an adult and as an 18 year old it seemed juvenile and “not ready” but for some reason 19 seems...
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Music
It’s my life. When I listen to something that really gets in my soul, I just let the emotion take over. I let every beat run through me and it’s absolutely euphoric. That feeling could never be replaced. It makes me happy. I know one day I’m going to give that feeling to thousands of people. That will be my gift to the world. Utter happiness through sounds. All worries, thoughts,...
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Work Flow
It’s really fucking hard to get up in the morning and hate where you’re going. To go to a place every fucking day for 9 dreadful hours. To walk out the door and know you are going to do the same exact thing the very next day. To have 1-6 old’s bitching about the same shit every 30 minutes. On top of that you have to clean every fucking room every goddamn day. Vacuum the carpets, sweep and mop the...
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Distractions
They’re fucking everywhere. I have plenty of things to do right now but look where I am. Don’t lose sight of what you want. Sometimes the little off topic nonsense helps you out in the end. For an example, a significant other. A person you are attracted to is probably the biggest distraction of all time. You want nothing more than their attention and for them to make you forget what...
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RISK IT
“I’d rather live a life of ‘oh well’s’, than a life of ‘what if’s’”. You always gain something out of an experience. You learn something. You will always discover a point you’ve never came across before and it gets you closer to the goal. There’s no taunting thoughts. Being comfortable is fine but there’s a need for change. Just follow the gut feeling. That’s the way you wanna go. Just do...
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If you preach hate at the service those words aren’t anointed
That holy water that you soak in has been poisoned
When everyone else is more comfortable remaining voiceless
Follow your dreams
they say if you work hard and follow your dreams they come true. I’m a firm believer of that. People lose focus of the goal. They get overwhelmed and give up. They think “there are so many people out there wanting what I want, how do I compete” Do it. Just fucking do it. More than half those people are thinking the same shit you are. More than half those people are gonna give up....
“Go around telling yourself things aren’t going well and you can be quite sure of...”
– Norman Vincent Peale (via quotesformotivation)
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