It's All Or Nothing

I’m getting distracted by my loneliness. I’m catching myself wondering if there’s...

Sat, 26 Jan 2013 20:13:11 -0500

I’m getting distracted by my loneliness. I’m catching myself wondering if there’s gonna be someone for me. Someone that I want to let in deep enough to say I’m theirs. I can’t think about it too much. I get uncomfortable and persuade myself that I’m happier alone. But I know I’m using that as an excuse not to commit.

my future someone

Thu, 24 Jan 2013 19:29:57 -0500

On 1/24/13 I thought of you. I thought of what you could possibly be doing right at this moment. I wonder if I’m going to hear about this day from you one day. Maybe this is the day you got that really bad paper cut or you past your first exam of the semester. If you don’t remember this day, that’s okay. You have THIS DAY. The day I show you this to remember always.

I love you.

Face spam. we all need it.

Tue, 15 Jan 2013 19:53:25 -0500

Face spam. we all need it.

FL Studio

Wed, 09 Jan 2013 19:25:01 -0500

This software can be extremely overwhelming but I am unbelievably addicted to it. I watch youtube videos and get so anxious I try to do things myself but then realize I don’t know how to do everything and really need to get a grip on the basics first. I have to keep reminding myself that this is a process and it takes time to master. I am not going to learn everything in an hour.

But I really fucking want to.

I FINALLY GOT IT. The dream starts NOW. FL Studio Producers...

Mon, 07 Jan 2013 21:59:51 -0500

I FINALLY GOT IT. The dream starts NOW. FL Studio Producers Edition is finally downloaded onto my hard drive and ready to be used. I’ve waited a long time for this and it sure is beautiful. This is going to happen. I am going to learn as much as I can from this and get this shit going. There’s no other option. This is what I am called to do and fuck man I am going to do it. It’s the real deal. I can’t wait for what’s about to come. I can already feel the creativity pulsating in my veins. My family is going to be proud. My friends are going to be with me every step of the way.

Watch out, in a year or two my ass is going to be at the top. You’ll see.

Hmm.. I Don't Recall

Sat, 05 Jan 2013 21:16:37 -0500

It’s amazing how quickly a human can forget things. I forget things all the time. I just walked outside to get my phone charger from my car and the moment I got there, I forgot why I went out in the first place. I had to rethink everything I just did to remember what the hell I was doing! Trying to think of something you forgot is such a weird feeling. You want to remember it so bad it bothers you. Your brain doesn’t stop trying to figure it out until it remembers. Once it does, you relax. It’s pretty amazing how MUCH a human remembers. The first day of school, the time you got that scar, the first crush, it’s so vivid. Then there’s the things you want to forget. The break up, the terrible weekend, the arguments, they are just as fresh. When you try to forget something it’s kind of like the first feeling when you don’t remember something. Your brain is working hard to find distractions. Your gut feels weird because there’s no way to ever forget. Sometimes there are things you want to forget but inside you know you don’t.

It’s interesting. Very interesting.

Lay in bed, get your headphones and listen to this song. Make...

Thu, 03 Jan 2013 23:06:37 -0500

Lay in bed, get your headphones and listen to this song. Make sure there is nothing to distract you. You will be in pure bliss.

This is one of the few songs that REALLY puts me in a trance. It captivates me on every level. I feel a natural high when I hear this song. It’s beautiful and raw all at once. The drop makes me weak, her voice gives me chills. Every sound blends so perfectly; I can’t handle it. I literally cannot handle this song. It’s a work of art. Seven Lion man, my hat goes off to you.

Life Lessons

Thu, 03 Jan 2013 22:15:30 -0500

I have paid for my classes and I’m getting back into the old grind. It feels pretty good knowing I’m able to continue my education. A weight had been lifted off my shoulders. My bank account wasn’t to happy with the transaction I must say. This past semester I have been working my ASS off trying to earn enough money for school. That was my only goal..but I learned a lot about myself and everything around me. YOU MUST WORK HARD AND DON’T SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS THAN WHAT YOU DESERVE. That is probably the number one thing I’ve learned these past 3 months. This world is ruthless, harsh and cold. People are fake, stubborn and lazy. Do not pay attention to that bullshit, they are distractions. Those things will keep you behind. Find the positives in everything. Look up and say thank you. Brush the dirt off your shoulder and keep moving forward. If you want to succeed in this world DO NOT GIVE UP. I say follow your dreams because if you don’t.. what you may end up with won’t be what you expect. It’s not going to be full-filling, it’s not going to be the next best thing. You will constantly think of the “what if’s” and will continue to dream about the life you wanted as the days pass. Work hard. I cannot express that enough. Be happy with what you do to get to your goal. It will be worth it. I promise it will.

I’ve seen what minimum effort looks like. I’ve experienced what barely passes the cut. It’s not what I want. it’s not good enough.

I’m going to the top. Join me.

2013

Mon, 31 Dec 2012 23:32:13 -0500

I’m getting good vibes about this year. I know there are going to be challenges that I will have to face very soon but It’s something I’m looking forward to. I’m all about love and positivity. This year is for happiness. It’s for the journey and it always will be from here on out. EDM has shown me the life I want. My soul craves it and this is the year I could feed it. Building the dream head on.

I hope the rest of you know what you want this year. Go after it and prosper. Be happy this year. Be you and fucking love it.

2012 In A Nutshell

Mon, 31 Dec 2012 07:47:15 -0500

I cannot begin to explain how incredibly diverse this year had been. I’ve gone through a number of situations that had made me happy, sad, furious, delighted,empty, enlightened, restless, at peace.. you name it I felt it. I’ve had quite a few life changing experiences. I’ve created countless memories. I’ve patched and re-patched wounds of the broken hearted. Yes, mine being one of them. I’ve watched people leave and I’ve watched people enter my life. I’ve accepted new begins and accepted the end of a chapter. I’ve grown. This year was rough. This year hit home.

This year is over and I feel like taking a nice big breath of fresh air.

Always Around

Wed, 26 Dec 2012 23:48:00 -0500

Man I wish I could forget some things. Like, you know when you get really close to someone and you’re constantly talking and going through shit with. It’s a good feeling knowing you can turn to them at any given moment. You know they want to hear what you have to say and you don’t ever have to feel uncomfortable. You’re not alone. The moment they leave, you don’t know what to do with your self. You’ve lost your partner. You lost the person you tackled things with and now you’re facing it alone. You long for that feeling to come back. You know it’s not but you just hope that it does. Eventually you start to forget, but it always seems to come back in waves. When you start to miss them..it’s like that feeling you get when you really want to listen to a specific song but have no way of doing so. There’s a need for it. It’s the worst when little things in the day bring you back to that “one time.” All you want to do is forget. If you forget, then nothing ever happened. If you forget, that terrible feeling would never have came into existence. But then you hear those songs.. those songs that make you think of the good. The reason why you hold on so tight.

The reason why you don’t want to forget.

what makes you want to produce so bad?

Wed, 26 Dec 2012 15:19:37 -0500

Well, I love music. Every song I listen to I think of a way to change it up… add something to it… take something away. I always have an urge to create something beautiful. It’s a need and I don’t see why I should deny it.

Thank you for asking anon!

Christmas swag

Tue, 25 Dec 2012 21:47:02 -0500

Christmas swag

Coming Together

Sat, 22 Dec 2012 17:45:07 -0500

On my way to see fucking Porter Robinson and Cosmic Gate.

Getting FL Studio FULL (from the best friend) and Traktor Turntables for christmas.

Fuck this is absolutely amazing. Happiest chick on the planet man.

Getting that dream on lockdown.

Caught Red Handed

Tue, 18 Dec 2012 08:21:08 -0500

Have you ever caught yourself thinking about someone you really shouldn’t? Have you ever let your memories completely take over and wish you could relive those moments? Have you ever had the urge to say your last and final thoughts that you’ve rehearsed over and over in your head but know you don’t have the courage to do so?

I’m going to tell you this. Tell that person what’s eating your heart out. Explain yourself the best you possibly could and don’t regret it. Think of that person and be happy from the experience. Rethink everything you learned from that relationship. Think of what you got out of it and accept it. Look at who you are today because.of it.

I did.

San Francisco- The Mowgli’s good vibes all around.

Sat, 15 Dec 2012 11:02:54 -0500

San Francisco- The Mowgli’s

good vibes all around.

Dad

Thu, 06 Dec 2012 21:37:32 -0500

You try, I know. You’ve tried to be the best dad you could but you didn’t try enough. When I try to have a deep conversation with you there’s always a business call that’s a little more important. It can never wait. When I needed advice there wasn’t any. I don’t care what freeway you’re driving on. I don’t care if a roof needs to be finished. I want to hear about YOU and your social life. How you’re adapting with my brother. You don’t even tell me you love me anymore. You’re trying to make me pay for things that I can’t afford. I’m no where near being stable and you just want to dump everything on me, let me figure it out. Push me to mange my life as if I can. I want that but I know its not possible yet.It’s like pulling teeth trying to get you to do me a favor. You just don’t care anymore. I’m sorry I’m a burden. I’m sorry I’m not this adult that has a professional job yet. I’m trying so hard. You’ve missed out on a lot in my life. You really have no idea who I am and I have no idea who you are. I can honestly say my Uncle is more of a father than you have been. That breaks my heart because I wanted that to be you so bad. I want that connection with you.

I’m not gonna get it am I?

Direction

Mon, 03 Dec 2012 08:05:29 -0500

Thank god for music. If I didn’t have my tunes who knows where I’d be. The only thing I’m passionate about is music. I’m not good at anything. I don’t think I could succeed at anything academically. So if producing music is the one thing I really know I can do and love, then fuck I’m gonna do it. Why try being interested in other shit when I know this is for me.

Give me a year or two. I hope to see you at my show.

Change

Thu, 29 Nov 2012 23:34:40 -0500

We all go through it. It happens whether we expect it or not. There is nothing we can do about it. BUT the way we handle it is key. I moved from a 4 bedroom two story house to a 2 bedroom 1 story apartment. I watched my mom fall in love with another man. I could be stubborn, bitter, cold but I chose not to. I congratulated my mom and her fiance. I packed my room up and said my last goodbyes with a smile on my face. I’m not thrilled but I’m not upset either. I have control over my education, my employment and my future goals. It takes an hour to get to work. It’s a set back yes, but I’m sitting in the parking lot waiting to go clock in. I’m growing up. I know what I want in life. I know what I want to become. There’s always light at the end of the tunnel. My uncle tells his son this quote all the time: whats done is done the worst is over and now you have options.

I have options. Watch me make my move.

Speed Bumps

Mon, 26 Nov 2012 14:25:43 -0500

Lately I’ve been bitchin about the move and where I’m gonna be in 6 months but, I just realized I forgot what was important. My dream. The constant change in my life shouldn’t affect my goal. I got caught up in situations that don’t even pertain to me. I tend to worry about problems that are bigger than what I can handle. Someone once told me that I’m constantly battling between my head and my heart. It’s true. It’s been a problem but, I think I got it now.

It’s time to open my eyes and live the dream.